28 Things I Have Learned in 28 Years

I’m doing something a bit different today in light of my recent birthday. That’s right. Today we’re getting personal. Which is very unlike me, since I am a relatively private person. But, I feel like opening up and sharing my amateur wisdoms with you. After all, I know that I would rather learn from someone else’s mistakes (or missed takes) than my own, wouldn’t you?

HAPPY 28TH TO ME! I tend to think that I have a healthy relationship with birthdays. When I reflect on the years behind me I realize I have experienced more than I would have thought possible in such a short amount of time. Graduated college (twice), got married, cultivated a small backyard chicken + turkey operation, traveled and documented my eats along the way, landed my first big girl job, got divorced, owned two homes and (most recently) decided to go back to school (third time is the charm?). Needless to say, I have been busy. Still, I have a lot to learn and I plan to keep moving, experiencing, and living while I take it all in!

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      1. Quality over quantity – this goes for so many things, from friends to chocolate cake.
      2. You are what you do consistently.
      3. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good, challenge you in a positive way, and love you for who you are.
      4. It’s okay to believe in “the one”, but there are many ones that can satisfy that role in your life. You’ll meet the smart one, the live on the wild side one, the one whose family you instantly love, and so on. Don’t ever settle for being with a one just because you have a magical story.
      5. Everyday is a gift, so don’t wish time away!
      6. Listen to understand, before you react.
      7. One *bad* meal or missed workout does not break your diet, or will force your body to put on weight.
      8. When it comes to disagreements in relationships or friendships, there is always a negotiation to be made for the ones you love. Sometimes, that negotiation is to agree to disagree and move on.
      9. Perception is everything (I think my Marketing professor instilled this in my brain but it’s still important!). Your perception of a problem or a relationship is not exactly the real deal. Sometimes you have to step back, reframe the situation and see if you can understand the issue from a different point of view to really see what’s going on.
      10. Different personality types exist across your relationships and that’s okay. Learn to adapt and do your best to understand others, and they’ll do their best to understand you. I like the Enneagram, The 5 Love Languages and The Four Tendencies, in all of which I know my type, my significant other’s type, the people I work closest with and  my closest friends.
      11. It’s never too late to change directions and forge a new path. I’m all about planning and committing to goals, but sometimes you may stop and question what you’re actually working for. Plan-execute-assess-succeed!
      12. “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
      13. Don’t give up just because something seems tough.
      14. Never underestimate the power of a good nap.
      15. When napping is not an option, try a cup of coffee or tea. An afternoon warm drink tends to settle my nerves and help me refocus.
      16. Consistency is key. What you do consistently will form your habits and soon enough, your lifestyle.
      17. Take pride in your body by forming healthy habits. The sooner, the better.
      18. Sometimes what you dislike most in someone else is what you dislike about yourself.
      19. Forgiving sets you free and opens your heart to feel and accept love and happiness.
      20. Talk to yourself. Let that inner voice become your best friend. During a workout, when you’re upset, when you need to be brave. Talk to yourself regularly and develop a loving, positive dialogue in that head of yours! This sounds simple, but next time you hear negative thoughts knocking, realize that you HAVE the power to turn your mindset around to something more productive.
      21. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
      22. Love keeps no score. This one is tough. As a doer, I have occasionally found myself in relationships (romantic or friend) where I felt as though I was keeping tallies on all the things I did for them and all the things they did not do for me. If you stop keeping score and have gratitude for what things *are*and become more communicative with your partner/friend about what could use some work, then you may find yourself more appreciative for your relationships and at peace with how much you feel like you’re giving versus getting. You never know, the person on the other end of the relationship may feel the same way, too.
      23. Time spent with loved ones is precious. Cherish it.
      24. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. As Type A, I have *often* felt compelled to spend hours per week cleaning my house, tidying ever surface and neatly folding every towel to perfection which looked amazing on the bathroom shelf but left me to feel like all I ever did was clean, and I did not like that feeling. As much as it pained me to start letting certain things go (the kitchen floor doesn’t have to be scrubbed every week), I was much happier with how much less time I consumed myself with these tasks that it was worth having a little mess! When I moved in with my boyfriend last year, I made it a point to let some of these little things go in order to spend more time together and avoid unwarranted resentment from building up whenever he didn’t do the laundry to my standards. It’s not always worth it. If you can relate to the resentful feelings then I recommend letting go a little bit and see how you feel after a couple weeks.
      25. Pick your battles. Remember, sticks and stones? Words actually do hurt and there are no take backs.
      26. Eat the pizza and drink the wine. But, these things are also best enjoyed with good company.
      27. Two dogs are better than one. Three is better than two.
      28. Travelling will make you rich. Spend money on experiences, less on things.

 

That’s all I have for you this week, friends! Until next time 🙂

xx Delana

 

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